I have always loved history. As far as my memory allows, I have been captivated by the events that shaped the world in which I live. I served in the United States Army as a young man, and at 22 years old, had the opportunity to visit many historically significant German sites, including Dachau. I remember the feeling of standing where so many tragically lost their lives. I remember how it made me feel an excitement of nostalgia, but also of grief.
When I found out about this opportunity to travel to Poland with CWB, I applied, even though I am a science teacher and not a history teacher. I was (and still am) very excited to visit any historical site, especially if I have studied it before. I have visited many American Civil War battlefields, and have felt that same awe and nostalgia when standing in one of the great arenas of history. This week, and specifically today, has added a whole new category to my experiences.
Coming here, I expected to feel the same emotions I have felt before while visiting historical sites: excitement, awe, and nostalgia. When we departed to visit the Treblinka extermination camp, I did not realize I was about to open a door to a new experience. Following Mr. Howard Chandler to the marker of his WWII community, listening to his story, and the beautiful singing that accompanied the occasion, sparked a whole new set of emotions while visiting a historical site: pain, sadness, and compassion. Listening to him made the “black and white” history of World War II come to full color for me. I felt pain for him and his family. I felt sadness, which turned into anger for him. I felt deep compassion for not only him, but the 900,000+ victims of atrocity on these very grounds. It was literally breath taking.
I also felt pride. Being a part of the memorial ceremony made me feel a comradery with the Jewish community that I had never felt before. Very emotional were the words that were spoken, the songs that were sung, the violin that was played, the candles that were lit. I may only be a man from the rural Appalachian Mountains of West Virginia, USA, but at that moment I stood with people from many different places paying homage to those who sickeningly had to lose their lives in horrific fashion. When I signed up for this trip, being a science teacher, I was asked to bring a scientific perspective to the trip. The obvious answer, scientifically, would be the medical research and technology that came from the atrocities of WWII. Although it is undeniable that the medical technologies afforded today were heavily influenced by said atrocities, I find myself unable to think about it without feeling shame. The human species has historically, and unfortunately, been a violent race. After 200,000 years of evolution, Homo sapiens are still capable of mass murdering each other today. What is it that makes us so unaccepting of those who are different? Why must we hate that which we don’t understand? Why should we desire to eradicate those who believe differently from us? Yet we do. We still do.
In closing, I have always loved history. I have always fancied visiting historical places, and trying to “feel” what those who were there might have felt. Yet today, I found that “feeling” a minute portion of the pain experienced by the victims and their families at Treblinka was a tremendous task to bear. I am grateful for this opportunity. I think that as an educator, we should all dive deep into the curriculum of others. Having a diverse knowledge only allows you to enrich your own teachings. Perhaps after this trip, and after teaching my courses a few more years, I will finally be able to provide an intelligent scientific perspective for the Holocaust. For now, I want to be a sponge, soaking up as much as possible, even when it hurts.