This was our second concentration camp visit. It was an emotional day all around. I participated as a reader in the memorial service so I was trying to control my emotions the entire time. I literally did math in my head to activate my logical brain in the place where logic was used to make murder “efficient”.
The layout of the memorial was surprising to me. Near the road a huge imposing stone marks the place as significant. Then you walk quite a distance before arriving at the the processing area.
The anticipation and mental preparation started on that walk. After that we saw the gas chambers. I thought the stark and clinical nature of the building was striking. Was it cleaned up for us? Or were the camp engineers the ones who removed the humanity from it?
There is a phrase I learned at my first Holocaust education training. “Safely in and safely out.” I was taught that we should never try to make our students feel like what Holocaust victims felt. We want to avoid comparisons of pain and avoid tone deaf ideas like making the students participate in activities so they can relate to the stories.
So, should we even visit places like Majdanek?
Yes, if we are going to honor the dead and light candles in their honor.
But walking through a camp that is partially preserved was deeply disturbing. The barracks were oppressive. With heat, with information, with tortured souls.
We stopped and read a testimony from a survivor in the place where the atrocities took place. We walked into the crematorium. We stood next to a huge pile of ashes and performed a ceremony. It was too much.
Do I need to go to the place to truly understand how evil it was? No. I cannot and should not understand how evil it was. No one can.
But now I know that every survivor is a miracle. I can’t even believe they would want to tell their story. More than once. Every year, every class period, as part of my lesson plan. So neat and tidy and organized.
I am forever changed and I am glad for the growing pains.
